Mother Mother

I need you so bad you have no idea.
I know you will probably never read this, but I need you more than ever.
I've never felt so lost or empty.
I've never felt so fucking alone.
I've never felt such extreme sorrow.
This hatred is on a whole new level and it's all towards myself.
I feel like a failure.
I feel like everything in its entirity has been my fault.
I'm so far from where I thought I would be.
I miss your support, you've always helped me more than anyone.
Since you've been gone I've not known how to cope.
I just sit in my room most of the time avoiding as much as I can.
I miss all the times we've talked and all the things you've helped me overcome.
I need your help for this one too.
It's the most difficult thing to face besides having to adapt to life without you and Lauren.
I can't do it alone, oh believe me I've tried.
You've always been the best at showing me the brighter side but without you I'm in the dark.
I have become nothing.